3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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