so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
