Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class

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(386): View more from Florida

you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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(712): View more from Iowa

They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.

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(407): View more from Florida

There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!

Fav 11 3384 1257
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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

Fav 13 1073 1969
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(253): View more from Washington

at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

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(212): View more from New York

You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM

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(951): View more from California

Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?

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