I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
