and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This house was built for laser tag.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
