imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
