I hate your face
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
