Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
