I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
