so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
