dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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