It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
