This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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