C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
