Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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