im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
