you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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