It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
