# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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