I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
