he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
