You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
