I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's always time for handjobs
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
