I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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