what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
