I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
