Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
