I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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