the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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