your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
