Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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