And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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