We won't sleep together?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
