we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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