and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
