my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Randomize
