Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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