when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
