this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
