Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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