how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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