I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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