You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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