I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
