well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
