What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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