Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
