she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
