Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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