Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
