So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Still dying that you shit outside
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
