Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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